susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
you had me at cake vodka
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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