It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
