Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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