sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
