How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
dude. I can hear the air.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize