I just made out with a guy for $7.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
