Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
