we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I need to sanitize my soul.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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