I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Hippo gnu deer
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
