I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
