found the other keg... it's in the tree
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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