Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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