New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
accomplished twins. life is a go
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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