I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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