Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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