Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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