Fine. I'll sleep in my office
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
