My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.