I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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