Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.