he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
