I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
