hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
