Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
