they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
We are two peas in an std pod
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Randomize
