ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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