Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
