but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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