It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
This house was built for laser tag.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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