love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
