but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
