Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
