You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
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If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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