I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
