dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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