Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
