I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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