No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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