dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
