shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
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