Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
whose parrot is this?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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