ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
