Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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