why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
