My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
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