i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
