Nicole vs. Life
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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