Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
