people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
