youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
