The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
i now understand why vodka
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
