Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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