Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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