why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
