What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
