i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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