It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Randomize
