He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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