she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
