Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
