It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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