I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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