Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
