How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
