even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
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Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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