mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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