She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
