I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
